i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
