When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
