call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
