yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
