New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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