butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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