my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
