I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
