I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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