i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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