I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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