Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
