Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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