I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
