Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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