Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
