im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
