R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
