i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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