We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
