worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
