Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
