It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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