sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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