Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
