There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
