Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
