TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
