i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
