yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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