I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize