that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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