just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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