The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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