my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
