How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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