is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
