i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
