I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
