check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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