I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
