Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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