In the future we'll all be gay
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
