Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
