Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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