I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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