I wanna passion pit in your ass
No subtext here. People are naked.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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