Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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