As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
