I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
