Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize