i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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