hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
