I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
