I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
