That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
