I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize