home. puking in laundry basket.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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