dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
