You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
