But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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